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Caitlin Cusack

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Year 4: Facing Challenges & Learning Valuable Lessons

Moving into 2022 - originally posted 12/30/2021

 

Hi y’all, I haven’t posted personally in a while so here’s an update and a 2021 review rolled into one!

 

In 2021, my migraines & dysautonomia post-brain injury continued to be major players in my life. So I really upped my game of searching for answers and found healing in many forms! Some answers I found only raised more questions… but I’ve made huge strides.

 

And I gave in to that little voice that had been urging me to “go.”

 

I sought freedom from the weight of great loss and pursued renewed vivacity for life. I made changes and I dragged myself out of bed even when my head and heart rate protested. I fought the urge to retreat and give in. And I reaaaally pushed my limits.

 

I walked, I ran, I sailed, I flew. I quite literally tried to climb mountains and ride waves. I found comfort and solace with old friends and exciting adventures with new friends. I discovered parts of myself and strength I wouldn’t have known if I’d stayed home.

 

Maybe that little voice was telling me to run, to try and escape… but I learned my lesson. The work I needed to do to heal followed wherever I went. But it didn’t stop me from finding joy beyond what a younger version of me could have even imagined.

 

At home, I continued to work on my vestibular and overstimulation issues with new providers and continued therapy for grief. I continued to sing and write. I found purpose in new challenges and an increased awareness of every day beauty around me… like the colors of the sky as the sun rises and sets against a city skyline, the wind on my cheeks at the beach and the squeaking of sand beneath my feet, the reflections of sun and sky on the water, the changing colors of leaves on the trees… the joy of conversations with others who have walked different paths than me.

 

I don’t know that there will ever be a day where I’ve officially “made a comeback” as I have hoped for so long… but my perspectives have shifted. I continue to push forward unrelenting toward my goals of having a life full of light and love (with less debilitating pain) in which I can share my gifts to help others.

 

My deepest thanks to all of you who have continued to support me as I journey through the unknowns. As I get older I see that just as the seasons change, the times of darkness balance with times of light.

03/23/2023

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