Music that Mends:
Caitlin Cusack's "The You Carry Me Project" Offers a Musical Refuge for Others to Feel the Reverberations of Grief
By Enrique Olmos
West Michigan native, Caitlin Cusack has carefully cultivated her musical interests as a performing artist, music director, and esteemed songwriter. With her regional platform and distinct voice, Cusack has wielded her collection of heartfelt songs into a healing balm for life’s heavier moments. Both for herself and her audience.
After the loss of her parents (her father in 2016 and mother in 2019) and a traumatic brain injury (in 2018) Cusack found writing music to be a cathartic process, allowing her a creative space to grieve and heal. This led to the release of her debut EP “Quiet My Mind” as well as the Tedx Talk “Overcoming Brain Injury & Loss: The Healing Power of Music” in 2023.
With her new musical release and accompanying video series, entitled “The You Carry Me Project” she aims to perpetuate a collective dialogue around the themes of love, loss, and healing, by recognizing grief as a universal fabric of human existence – not an isolating experience to be weathered alone or in a vacuum.
We sat down to discuss this project in more detail, including its community roots, inspirations, and important themes:
Q&A with Caitlin Cusack:
Q: What are some of the themes or messages in the music you’ve been creating lately?
A: For a long time, I’ve felt like one of my purposes in life is to help other people. I want to share my music in hopes that it can help carry people through those times where they don't already have the resources to navigate what they're going through. I’ve learned the hard way that you have to learn how to navigate difficult times on the fly.
Q: What were some of those things you had to learn on the fly in times of loss or grief?
A: Through the loss of both my parents, and a life-changing brain injury in my twenties, I had to learn how to navigate the emotions that came with such hugely life-changing events and how to be okay with sharing them. I was in my early twenties when my Dad’s health steeply declined, and after he passed away, I didn't know what was okay. I remember thinking when we visited him after he died, that I wanted to have music in the room. I wanted to sing! And for some reason, I felt like it wasn’t appropriate in that environment. I didn't even feel comfortable enough to ask if I could do that. But when my mom in the hospital and near passing, I knew how important it was for me to have music in the room. Someone brought a keyboard in for me to play, and it turned into this really powerful experience for us to all use music to comfort each other, as well as my Mom. It was really powerful to be able to sing through those emotions, and not just be sitting there struggling with the weight of what was happening.
Q: Why do you think it can be uncomfortable to even acknowledge grief at times?
A: I think it’s because there are so many layers to grief… because when you lose someone you love, you're saying goodbye to everything you've experienced so far, but you're also losing all the experiences you expected to have with that person moving forward. So you have to grieve as you go. And relationships are never black and white - grief challenges you to remember the good memories as well as the bad, and you have to learn to cope with the regret that comes along with all of it.
Q: How has channeling your own experiences of loss into making music helped during those seasons?
A: Music has helped me make sense of my feelings, and it has also served as a physical release…to play the piano, to have that motion, to feel that release of energy through my fingertips—that’s really powerful for me. And singing can be such a somatic experience as well. There have been many times when I really wish I could just scream, but it doesn’t feel societally appropriate… so I write that “scream” or wail of grief into the melodies of my music.
Q: What can you tell me about the origins of your new musical release (and accompanying music videos) “The You Carry Me Project?”
A: I wrote three songs to process the grief of losing my parents, really just to comfort myself at first. But when I started to play them for other people, I realized what a powerful tool it could be to connect with others who have experienced loss.
Q: In what ways did the lives & examples of your parents shape or influence these songs?
A: My parents were really involved in their church and their community. I saw how important it was for them to serve their community and the people around them. So I think that’s why I utilize music in that way, as kind of an act of service. I wrote it in service of my grief at first and now I’m offering it as something to serve other people. It’s one way of carrying on their memory.
Q: In what ways do you still feel some type of presence from that bond with your parents?
A: Well, when my mom was in the hospital, when we knew her diagnosis was terminal, I asked her privately one night “will you send me angels or send me signs?” And I do feel like angels have come into my life so many times since she passed to help me in various ways — like the community I found, especially through the church where I direct music at St. Peter’s in Douglas, which was my first job back after the brain injury. When I've been in a difficult spot and really struggling, that's when an angel will appear, either as a solution to my problem or as someone to give me a piece of advice and encouragement to keep going. It makes me feel like she's still looking out for me.
Q: How else would you comfort someone who is experiencing grief?
A: Most of all, I would encourage them to experience the emotions they need to process, and not to brush them aside. It’s okay to ask for help! Tap into your resources like community, creativity, music, faith. Do what you have to do to be okay, and know that there is not a standard “recovery plan.” It's not like a broken bone that you can expect to heal in four to six weeks. Grief is different for everyone; it can present at different times with different intensities. Just remember, you don’t have to go through it all on your own.
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